...that's all SHE wrote

Dec 10

(Source: fuckyeahfamousblackgirls, via fuckyeahfamousblackgirls)

uncensored-commentary:

"now hold on sis… i’m not sure where you got the idea that i was asking you for anything other than more ice cream

image

 so if i were you i’d shut that lip and take this bowl to the kitchen for a refill of that vanilla bean bluebell before your edges go missing like my Mommy’s single…

OK?…

image

alright

(Source: sickening-hurts)

Sep 11
Blue Gathers the Girls…
theburiedlife:

19 Things To Stop Doing In Your 20s
1. Stop placing all the blame on other people for how they interact with you. To an extent, people treat you the way you want to be treated. A lot of social behavior is cause and effect. Take responsibility for (accept) the fact that you are the only constant variable in your equation.
2. Stop being lazy by being constantly “busy.” It’s easy to be busy. It justifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your ‘busyness,’ it’s you who’s making the decision, not the demands of your job.
3. Stop seeking out distractions. You will always be able to find them.
4. Stop trying to get away with work that’s “good enough.” People notice when “good enough” is how you approach your job. Usually these people will be the same who have the power to promote you, offer you a health insurance plan, and give you more money. They will take your approach into consideration when thinking about you for a raise.
5. Stop allowing yourself to be so comfortable all the time. Coming up with a list of reasons to procrastinate risky, innovative decisions offers more short-term gratification than not procrastinating. But when you stop procrastinating to make a drastic change, your list of reasons to procrastinate becomes a list of ideas about how to better navigate the risk you’re taking.
6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliche and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things “should” be is a bought-into way of life. It’s sort of like renting your identity. It isn’t you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that “should” be happening.
7. Stop expecting people to be better than they were in high school — learn how to deal with it instead. Just because you’re out of high school doesn’t mean you’re out of high school. There will always be people in your life who want what you have, are threatened by who you are, and will ridicule you for doing something that threatens how they see their position in the world.
8. Stop being stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things you’ll keep.
9. Stop treating errands as burdens. Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions. Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when you’re focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment.
10. Stop blaming yourself for being human. You’re fine. Having a little anxiety is fine. Being scared is fine. Your secrets are fine. You’re well-meaning. You’re intelligent. You’re blowing it out of proportion. You’re fine.
11. Stop ignoring the fact that other people have unique perspectives and positions. Start approaching people more thoughtfully. People will appreciate you for deliberately trying to conceive their own perspective and position in the world. It not only creates a basis for empathy and respect, it also primes people to be more open and generous with you.
12. Stop seeking approval so hard. Approach people with the belief that you’re a good person. It’s normal to want the people around you to like you. But it becomes a self-imposed burden when almost all your behavior toward certain people is designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.
13. Stop considering the same things you’ve always done as the only options there are. It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes, or not having gone out to brunch enough times, or not having spent enough time on the internet. Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing. You’ve figured out drinking and going out. You’ve experimented enough. You’ve gotten your fill of internet memes. Figure something else out.
14. Stop rejecting the potential to feel pain. Suffering is a universal constant for sentient beings. It is not unnatural to suffer. Being in a constant state of suffering is bad. But it is often hard to appreciate happiness when there’s nothing to compare it to. Rejecting the potential to suffer is unsustainable and unrealistic.
15. Stop approaching adverse situations with anger and frustration. You will always deal with people who want things that seem counter to your interests. There will always be people who threaten to prevent you from getting what you want by trying to get what they want. This is naturally frustrating. Realize that the person you’re dealing with is in the same position as you — by seeking out your own interests, you threaten to thwart theirs. It isn’t personal — you’re both just focused on getting different things that happen to seem mutually exclusive. Approach situations like these with reason. Be calm. Don’t start off mad, it’ll only make things more tense.
16. Stop meeting anger with anger. People will make you mad. Your reaction to this might be to try and make them mad. This is something of a first-order reaction. That is, it isn’t very thoughtful — it may be the first thing you’re inclined to do. Try to suppress this reaction. Be thoughtful. Imagine your response said aloud before you say it. If you don’t have to respond immediately, don’t.
17. Stop agreeing to do things that you know you’ll never actually do. It doesn’t help anyone. To a certain extent, it’s a social norm to be granted a ‘free pass’ when you don’t do something for someone that you said you were going to do. People notice when you don’t follow through, though, especially if it’s above 50% of the time.
18. Stop ‘buying’ things you know you’ll throw away. Invest in friendships that aren’t parasitic. Spend your time on things that aren’t distractions. Put your stock in fleeting opportunity. Focus on the important.
19. Stop being afraid.
-Thought Catalog 
Jun 18

theburiedlife:

19 Things To Stop Doing In Your 20s

1. Stop placing all the blame on other people for how they interact with you. To an extent, people treat you the way you want to be treated. A lot of social behavior is cause and effect. Take responsibility for (accept) the fact that you are the only constant variable in your equation.

2. Stop being lazy by being constantly “busy.” It’s easy to be busy. It justifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your ‘busyness,’ it’s you who’s making the decision, not the demands of your job.

3. Stop seeking out distractions. You will always be able to find them.

4. Stop trying to get away with work that’s “good enough.” People notice when “good enough” is how you approach your job. Usually these people will be the same who have the power to promote you, offer you a health insurance plan, and give you more money. They will take your approach into consideration when thinking about you for a raise.

5. Stop allowing yourself to be so comfortable all the time. Coming up with a list of reasons to procrastinate risky, innovative decisions offers more short-term gratification than not procrastinating. But when you stop procrastinating to make a drastic change, your list of reasons to procrastinate becomes a list of ideas about how to better navigate the risk you’re taking.

6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliche and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things “should” be is a bought-into way of life. It’s sort of like renting your identity. It isn’t you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that “should” be happening.

7. Stop expecting people to be better than they were in high school — learn how to deal with it instead. Just because you’re out of high school doesn’t mean you’re out of high school. There will always be people in your life who want what you have, are threatened by who you are, and will ridicule you for doing something that threatens how they see their position in the world.

8. Stop being stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things you’ll keep.

9. Stop treating errands as burdens. Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions. Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when you’re focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment.

10. Stop blaming yourself for being human. You’re fine. Having a little anxiety is fine. Being scared is fine. Your secrets are fine. You’re well-meaning. You’re intelligent. You’re blowing it out of proportion. You’re fine.

11. Stop ignoring the fact that other people have unique perspectives and positions. Start approaching people more thoughtfully. People will appreciate you for deliberately trying to conceive their own perspective and position in the world. It not only creates a basis for empathy and respect, it also primes people to be more open and generous with you.

12. Stop seeking approval so hard. Approach people with the belief that you’re a good person. It’s normal to want the people around you to like you. But it becomes a self-imposed burden when almost all your behavior toward certain people is designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.

13. Stop considering the same things you’ve always done as the only options there are. It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes, or not having gone out to brunch enough times, or not having spent enough time on the internet. Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing. You’ve figured out drinking and going out. You’ve experimented enough. You’ve gotten your fill of internet memes. Figure something else out.

14. Stop rejecting the potential to feel pain. Suffering is a universal constant for sentient beings. It is not unnatural to suffer. Being in a constant state of suffering is bad. But it is often hard to appreciate happiness when there’s nothing to compare it to. Rejecting the potential to suffer is unsustainable and unrealistic.

15. Stop approaching adverse situations with anger and frustration. You will always deal with people who want things that seem counter to your interests. There will always be people who threaten to prevent you from getting what you want by trying to get what they want. This is naturally frustrating. Realize that the person you’re dealing with is in the same position as you — by seeking out your own interests, you threaten to thwart theirs. It isn’t personal — you’re both just focused on getting different things that happen to seem mutually exclusive. Approach situations like these with reason. Be calm. Don’t start off mad, it’ll only make things more tense.

16. Stop meeting anger with anger. People will make you mad. Your reaction to this might be to try and make them mad. This is something of a first-order reaction. That is, it isn’t very thoughtful — it may be the first thing you’re inclined to do. Try to suppress this reaction. Be thoughtful. Imagine your response said aloud before you say it. If you don’t have to respond immediately, don’t.

17. Stop agreeing to do things that you know you’ll never actually do. It doesn’t help anyone. To a certain extent, it’s a social norm to be granted a ‘free pass’ when you don’t do something for someone that you said you were going to do. People notice when you don’t follow through, though, especially if it’s above 50% of the time.

18. Stop ‘buying’ things you know you’ll throw away. Invest in friendships that aren’t parasitic. Spend your time on things that aren’t distractions. Put your stock in fleeting opportunity. Focus on the important.

19. Stop being afraid.


-Thought Catalog 

Apr 30

LL explains “Accidental Racist” …

"The song isn’t about trivializing what happened in the past… it’s about love" 

Apr 27

(Source: ad-busting)

Apr 26

forever90s:

The Original Disney Channel.

(via oldschooldisneyandnick)

theraceproblem:

ethiopienne:

omg i cannot.

lmao but im still salty as fuck about this.
Apr 26

theraceproblem:

ethiopienne:

omg i cannot.

lmao but im still salty as fuck about this.

(Source: lorenlott, via theraceproblem-deactivated20130)

image

After the epiphany I had about the lack of involvement the writer’s of Glee had in building the beautiful and talented, Amber Riley as Mercedes Jones in class yesterday, I knew I had to check out the world wide web to see if anyone else had noticed what I did.

Check what I found:

"Out of the 12 main characters, 10 are white. The 4 biggest characters on the show are Sue, Mr. Schuester, Rachel, and Finn.  All of them are white and straight. The minorities are just filler. Glee has won a Diversity Award from the Multicultural Motion Picture Association.

- Mission Statement from GleeSucks.com

Portion of a comment made in reference to Season 2’s Born This Way episode where the students wore shirts that spoke to their personal identities/ “flaws”

 Mercedes, the sole regular black character on the show, wore a shirt that said “No weave.” I’m not sure exactly what her insecurity is. Does she hate that she wears a weave? Does she not wear a weave, but thinks she should? In this (customary) ignoring of Mercedes’ character development, Glee missed a chance to provide a window into what it’s like to be one of a very few students of color (particularly a black girl) at a majority white school.

- "When will Glee stop ignoring race?" by Tamara Winfrey Harris

Glee’s Mercedes Jones is played by Amber Riley, the sassy black girl who makes sure each episode is filled with its share of neck rolls and finger snaps.  She is hardly a nerdy heroine- she is by no means gawky or socially handicap.  A few weeks back, Shonda Rhimes peaked my interest with a flashback episode of Grey’s Anatomy that showed us a peek of Miranda Bailey (played by Chandra Wilson) in her first days a brainy, self-doubting intern at Seattle Grace.   However, this nuanced look into the less than put together black woman is still a rarity in television and film.
Hollywood has churned out many negative views of the black woman, but the archetype most audiences embrace the most has been of the self aware, assertive, HBIC.  However, in a marketplace that has been filled with Tyler Perry-esque female characters, where are the black Ugly Betties?
The strong black character is one that most black women can identify with.  She is the educated, stiletto rocking, cultured, smart woman with a disposable income.   She is the Joan from Girlfriends, Syd from Brown Sugar or the Shaunte from Two Can Play That Game.While Joan fought to handle her neurotic tendencies and Syd couldn’t see the love that was right in front of her, they were all women with a certain amount of success and even more enviable, swag (albeit neither Syd nor Joan had it like sashay Shaunte).  These characters have all been women we could all identify with because we wanted to emulate their positives. Back in the day, I could only dream about inserting myself into one of those scenes and being that girl.  Standing on my tippy toes, I would imagine being an accomplished writer like Syd, driving with the top down like Vivica or clicking into court with Manolos on my feet a la Joan.

- "A Different Type of Brown Girl: Where’s Our Liz Lemon?" by Leslie Pitterson of Clutch Magazine

This article connected to me most, considering it’s latter discussion of Sidney Shaw from the film, Brown Sugar has been my hero since I was 13 years old… I’m so glad I found her! Though she was flawed, I felt like I could be just like her in so many ways. 

__________________________________________________

As I reflect on these articles, I wish I could see what I saw in Sidney all those years ago, in Mercedes Jones. I love her confidence, her strength, and her unmatched talent but Mr. Murphy, she’s gotta be so much more than that. There was a reason she was cast to sit among a cast of students who looked NOTHING like her. Where is her substance? Her back story? What’s her family like? Hell if you need a black girl to base her story off of… I’m here for you! I would like to think I’m a rather complex individual.

With nothing but images of overtly sexual, violent, hostile, attitudinal, fiesty black women on television… who is my niece supposed to look up to? I can do all I can to be a positive influence in her life but when we’re not together and she’s looking to television to provide some hope… who is she to admire? The 90s gave me Laura Winslow, Penny Proud, Raven Baxter, Tia and Tamara Mowry in Sister,Sister, even Keenan and Kel… What does today’s media have to offer the forth coming generation? 

I would LOVE to say Mercedes Jones but it looks like that maybe to late. Thanks television for disappointing me again!  :( 

Apr 26
Dear Mr. Ryan Murphy… WHO IS THE REAL MERCEDES JONES?!
Apr 25

too cute thursdays

Apr 25

emilyisaboss:

sktagg23:

Fuck you, Ann Coulter. Just fuck you forever and ever, amen.

i am so angry.

(Source: drunkonstephen, via julianna-feminista)